A Porno for you to Please Yourself To

hello world and Hello Imaginary Friends. Filling in for Certainty today is Anger.

Fuck you Pamela Anderson. Fuck you Tila Tequila. Fuck you Jenny McCarthy. Fuck you entire culture stemmed in self masterburtory behavior that you think trading in tits for pseudo faux intellect is somehow an acceptable social change. Wait. Before you go thinking I am saying something negative against woman in pornography, before you think I am being a misogynist. WAIT. Read the whole thing, hear me out. Than pick up your rocks and kill me if you still need to. You throw one single rock without having read this in it’s entirety than you are a self aggrandizing piece of shit cow and should go die in the sweltering summer heat generated by a market of soon to be flaccid boys furiously thrashing their stumps at your bravery.

With that said. You ED enabling waifs.

I am not saying I disagree that porn has become a bad thing, I’m not saying I haven’t “AeA – apply lip gloss – bash the bishop – bate – beat it – beat off – beat (one’s) meat – beat the bishop – beat the kids – bop the bishop – buck the slobbering donkey – choke (one’s) chicken – choke the chicken – cook up a batch – crack one off – date Miss Michigan – date Mrs. Palmer – double-click (one’s) mouse – drop the kids off at the pool – fap – five knuckle shuffle – flick (one’s) bean – flick the bean – flog (one’s) log – flog the bishop – flog the log – frig – go to the bank – have a date with Rosey Palmer – have a date with Rosey Palmer and her five sisters – have a tug of war with Cyclops – have a wank – have sex with (one’s self) – hump (one’s) fist – jack off – jerk it – jerk off – jerk (one’s) gherkin – jerk the gherkin – jerk the johnson – jill off – junior Olympic pole vaulting – kill a kitten – master debater – paint the ceiling – pet (one’s) kitty – pet the bunny – play pocket pinball – play with (one’s self) – pluck (one’s) twanger – plunk (one’s) twanger – polish (one’s) knob – polish (one’s) pearl – polish the family jewels – polish the pearl – pound (one’s) pud – pudwhack – pud wrestle – pull (one’s) pud – pull the pud – punch (one’s) clown – punch the clown – punch the munchkin – punish percy – rough up the suspect – rub one off – rub one out – self-abuse – self-love – sex with someone you love – shake the creamer – shlick – skin off – slap the salami – smack Lester – snap – spank – spank bank – spank it – spank (one’s) monkey – spank the monkey – stranger – stranger, the – stroke it – stroke (one’s) salami – stroke the salami – torque it – toss – tosser – toss off – tribute picture – wack off – wank – wanker – wank it – wank off – wax the carrot – wax the dolphin – whack it – whack off – yank it.”jerked off, What boy hasn’t? That does not slap a sticker on it and make it better. It is simple acknowledgement.

I honestly just think it is a stupid thing and it has been allowed to get out of control. There are numerous causes for this. Our economy is so bad that is a viable option to “just do porn”. Companies like Reality Kings or whatever terribly unclever moniker your “reality” based internet porn filmed on a go pro because you are no better than a Taiwanese sex trafficker go by these days are over saturating a once defendable market of “so called self expression and individual sexuality”. People are so stupid and our system is so screwed that kids think porn had some validity to it. Porn never has been and never will be what actual ” love making”, “basic sexual intimacy” or even “just fucking” is actually like. You say it is and you are a fucking liar. Shut up insecure guys who want to pretend they are so macho, shut up insecure woman who want to pretend they are not seeking some sort of validation, shut up people like me who are over analyzing pointless crap for no real goal other than to vent about the things that make them want to swing , swing freely from the rafters of home bathrooms and closet doors; all of it is fucking stupid. The single worst part though is allowing ignorant smears such as Pamela Anderson and her sisterhood of the traveling VD, who has spent a literal lifetime marketing her on again off again synthetic frame, a body which has served as both mind you a vacuum of self deprecation for young woman and a medium of self acceptance but inevitably always returned to whatever made her money and relevant; to speak out against it now that she cannot do so. It is offensive. It is vulgar. It is worse than the blatant objectification of human beings that is the actual core of this topic. It is simply the next step in pornography people. When you can no longer get off to the sex bomb, when you reach such an age as myself perhaps you get off to the idea of being the the anti establishment sex bot you always were so glad to be. Your enlightenment gets them hard and they stroke off to their visionary thoughts. Fuck you all for thinking so. You fucking locust.

Now you masturbate to Jenny McCarty curing autism as if it were a fucking disease. Her desperate pleas for social relevance in a narrow minded culture with an even smaller attention span ( who may have even stopped reading this three sentences in lest I said something daring. Cock gun derringer twat sputum The Voice sucks! ). The dwindling capacity to grasp the overtly simple concepts of our lives is atrocious. We have advanced oh so far into oh so simpler times and, yet like autistic phoenixes (yeah you fucking take that irony ) these “icons” are rallying on the open forum to discuss things they do not have an inkling of understanding and in the most pretentious ways over complicating things. Congratulations as you all swirl into a mindless shapeless void that sounds amazingly a lot like fucking Lena Dunham after a night at the Met Gala. ( As if any of this shit was even important in the first place you arrogant fucks.) Though I did just use your names in the same sentence as something currently “trending” so I am all to sure the humidity in your loins in palpable at this point.

Tila Tequila, ::facepalm:: I can’t, not even. She supports Hitler, Donald Trump and thinks that the guy from those movies that were made solely to market Vin Diesel as a heterosexual back when anyone cared whether he was gay or not; was murdered in some crackpot conspiracy to make you read her blog. “Singer, song writer, reality tv star”, a few titles the titular Tila has draped over her nubile frame which she will show you for free #nofilter, #youareusingafuckingfilter, #noonesthisdumbmarketingfoundsomethinghere so long as you join her site and pay to listen to her give shoddy advice to young girls about hand jobs and growing up. You could receive better from a wood chipper that you have to speak softly and closely to. Try it, lean in ask it and bask in the enlightenment that is 100% better than listening to anything this person has to say. You get a shot of love and a chance to ass fuck while she talks about mother hood while more likely than not not actually knowing anything about any of the said topics. Least of all ass fucking. ( I understand it is not fair of me to judge Tila as a parent as I am not there and, I will say this about that. I have no evidence she is a bad mom; she could be a great mom. I refuse to lower myself to that level. ) I have lost myself in all these 26 letters that I keep rotating and switching like Jobe in the first Lawnmower Man movie looking for a way into the internet. This all started because Pamela Anderson doesn’t want you to look at porn anymore because she is not in it.

Conclusion:

Look at porn, don’t look at porn I do not give a fuck. Simply said though do not allow your decisions to be swayed by the marketability of the swine who are manipulating you in the first place. Porn  is not totally awful. It can be ok I guess. It is like a stupid coming of age thing in some ways for boys and girls. Like anything else though you make it abusive and allow it to control and destroy your very self and there is a fucking problem. Take some fucking accountability for once. No one made you look at anything, if they did you need to go get help immediately. they are abusing you. Sex can be whatever the people involved want it to be. It is for those involved to decide. Do not delude yourself into thinking that the videos you watch online do anything other than feed the monster that is the ever growing sex industry. People will continue to make black markets for their depravity and their sick needs. We battle it the best we can. Try not to be the Lena Dunhams, the Pamela Andersons, and the Jenny McCarthys that stifle progress. Feminism is a joke these days due to such people, humanism is necrotic and not long for this world. All one can simply do is remember that we all have such differing and diverse ideas about so many things. So very few align properly. So please do not let shallow celebrities represent you, in this day and age you are a fire that cannot be sated. Someone will hear you, somewhere the gunshot of your emotions into a tin can in a back alley; they will notice and they will remind you that if nothing else you tried.

It is not always about necessarily winning but the swing you took. Without the swing there was never a chance to begin with. Maybe that pop fly lands in some stupid assholes hands and spreads. Maybe it works. Maybe I suck at sports metaphors. I am trying so fucking hard. If this is less about me and more about everything I think I can manage it. For now.

I am Kevin.

Kevin

I breathe fire.

I dream demons.

I cry oceans alone to swim home in,

I heard your pop fly.

#sportsmetaphorssuckabagofelkdicks

 

 

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One thought on “A Porno for you to Please Yourself To

  1. Pingback: The Memory Box 2.0 | niveknatnof's Blog

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